Thursday, August 30, 2012

Happy 6 Months!

Sophy turned 6 months on Friday and I can't believe how quickly the time has gone.

She's a little rolling whirlwind who is trying to crawl every minute she's on the floor. She's incredibly curious and she absolutely tries to put everything in her mouth. So far the major growth spurts have tapered a bit and she's still in between 6-9 month sizes except jammies. She's approaching 9 months only in jammies since she's super long. She is a regular tummy/side sleeper. We're still working on the solid food but she loves the high chair and hanging out with us at the table and we can finally try out the jog stroller now that she's got the head thing down.

I can't wait to see what the next 6 months will bring. She's such a joy and I feel lucky everyday that I get to be her Mom.

I love you Sophy Bear, happy 6 months!

Monday, August 27, 2012

Sneak Peek

When my parents were here last weekend, the girls (minus Sophy) went to Joann's to check out fabric and we got these little goodies. Sophy will be super cute in her new holiday dresses. We also found a cute fall fabric with birds on it that's adorable but I couldn't find it or another vintage style with yellow roses to share. I'll post the final products once Grandma finishes them.

Love these little dresses and they'll be super sweet next generation carry overs.

Can't resist a vintage print and am ready for cooler weather and fall ASAP!

Thursday, August 23, 2012


Thinking about this because I have lost my mind.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Pool Baby

Mommy and the water baby in Vegas. We had a fantastic time and I still haven't gone through all the pics. Rolland's family, Mom and Sister, joined us and we had a lovely time. This was taken on our cabanna day. Since we stayed at the Palazzo and it was July, seemed like a perfect and relaxing day. It was. Lounging by the pool and taking a dip when it was warm but mostly relaxing in the hot tub then on the chaise lounge while Sophy made the rounds. Perfection.

Also, I got lots of baby in swimsuit and sunhat photo ops and that's really what I wanted.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Boxes: Pretty, Pretty Boxes

I've been working on some new boxes and jewelry in hopes of actually stocking my Etsy store and going to some craft shows this fall. I'm especially loving a few of the pieces including these boxes below. Great for hiding jewelry, recipes and other bits and bobs that might be laying around. You know, like the bits and bobs you might use to put on top of other boxes. Vicious cycle people. Vicious cycle.

This box was months in the making and I'm pretty sure I started before I was pregnant so a mere 15 months ago. It had the base color and over the last two weeks I actually started layering glaze, charcoal, marker and text. The main phrase on the front was a scrap of paper I've had on my desk for two years and it finally found a home. I'm also loving the way the finial turned out sans doll head. This was hard but that handle and rhinestone are perfect.

This box I know was finished up to the charcoal way before I was pregnant and I just hadn't gotten around to applying fixative to keep the charcoal on the box. Finally picked that up and sprayed it within an inch of it's life (still get a little charcoaly but I'm claiming it as adding to the charm). I also had this sheet with chocolate recipes and it seemed like the ideal addition since I'm convinced someone else will love chocolate, purple and doll heads. Right? Seriously, I can't be the only one.

Working on the shameless promotion since I plan to actually start selling things so here goes...

These would be awesome gifts for the holidays: teacher gifts, shower gifts, perfect for wedding/baby gifts, and just as a treat to hold your own special treasures.I can make them with specific colors and various finials if for some reason you aren't a fan of doll heads or handles. Although let's talk since I clearly can't imagine such a scenario! I promise to have them done in a speedy fashion if anyone were so inclined to have specific requests.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Fiscal Responsibility Sucks...

In our desire to become more fiscally responsible we cut back on expenses, including cable. Our bill was fairly outrageous since we subscribed to every channel known to man, and in HD. Now, the husband claims I knew this but I have no such memory of this conversation. Which was basically summed up like this:

Sweet and sane rational husband says "We don't get FX anymore..." in response to my frantically trying to add Justified back into our DVR after it's disappearance which I just thought to question today.

Me "WHAT?! What do you mean we don't get FX anymore? How is that possible, you didn't tell me that?!"

Husband "Yes, I did."

Ugh. I already miss the hat.

Friday, August 17, 2012


I've been trying to move forward with what I want for my life, making dreams reality and believing that what I want most I can have. Kelly Rae Robers has been writing some fantastic posts about being a Possibilitarian and embracing all that's possible in the world.

All that's possible is super exciting and fantastic to try and embrace but not really true. First, you have to figure out what possibilities you want for yourself. Then you have to make decisions that make some possibilities real while others fade. As excited as I am about the plans we've got for the future, it's also time to let others go, the lives that won't be lived because that's a choice that was discarded.

One of the things I found to be true for me as we struggled with infertility was the long road of uncertainty. I had to look at all the possibilities including the idea that we might not ever have a baby. It wasn't a given and for my tender and battered heart I had to come to terms that it would likely not happen. It was just too painful to have hope strongly that it would happen. Truly, I worried most everyday I was pregnant that something would happen and it would all be taken away. I wished the other day I could go back and tell myself it would be okay. Breathe. Enjoy. Trust. Instead, I was fairly obsessive with every little pain and twinge. Mostly I kept it to myself and drove my husband nuts but he was patient and tolerant.

During those months of uncertainty and failed hopes, I would wonder what would our life look like then? Maybe we'd relocate? Serious city living. Lots more focus on career challenges. Develop more hobbies and become more entertaining at dinner parties - yeah, make more friends to have said dinner parties, sell everything and road trip/travel for a year, live abroad and become those people on House Hunters International that we always say "what the hell do they do for a living" that makes the 3 million euro apartment in Paris possible. Just to be clear, the house hunters thing was never likely but it was easy dreaming on Friday night laying on my heating pad after that night's shot. Obviously some things were more likely than others.

Luckily and thankfully, we did get pregnant and have been given the best baby in the world - I've done polls and it's true - and with our expanded little family our plans have shifted. City living was fun to see with the little guys walking sure and confident through the streets headed who knows where. I loved seeing the the very chic and urban mamas push the strollers and walk the kids to school in Soho. Fantastic schools with playgrounds in the middle of the city, kids at play while everyone else hurried to the office, appointments, yoga, well you get the idea. But that's not for us. I can't get beyond how to get a car seat in a taxi or deal with strollers on subways in the rain with Sophy screaming because she's hungry and tired. Airports every holiday to try and squeeze in some extended family time. Only seeing her cousin every couple of years. Not for us. And it means that possibility is fading away making room for other dreams.

But I've discovered it's still a little bittersweet and hard not to think of it as giving up. That it's too hard to try and make work so we're choosing the easier path. I mourn, just a little, for all those other roads that won't be taken. Could it have worked if I would've tried harder? What possibilities do I hold on to give them the energy that might make them someday realities? What's worth letting go of and discarding? What dreams do you keep for the future and what are dreams of childhood that finally get packed away? Some are easy - no toe shoes for this aged ballerina (who never took a dance class), no Olympic medals unless I start those archery or shooting lessons pronto, no more job hunting in major metropolitan areas where housing prices are closer to $1,000 a square foot instead of $100.

The someday of a pretty house on a fair amount of land, little girls in twirly dresses with puppies at their feet, Christmas mornings with family, playing in the fall leaves, summers at the lake, teaching little fingers how to play with paint and wire, Saturday morning doughnuts with Daddy, all of these see possible and worth working really hard to make come true.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012


So yeah, apparently my last post was actually written really eloquently here.

... now I'm moving on. I have property upstate to scope out.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Cute Baby in Vegas

... also laziest blog post ever.

Still working through all the vacation photos but this one was too good to pass up.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Because my husband is awesome...

this necklace is now mine.

This was a surprise present from my husband. I sent him the link a couple of weeks ago as a suggestion for Christmas but he went ahead and ordered it. It's been a rough few weeks and he wanted to give me a little something. It's a super sweet reminder that things will get better and just keep pushing through. Also, this is especially nice since he hates it. :) He is not a fan of my hommage to Rachel Zoe with pieces like this but because he's awesome and loves me he orders me surprise jewelry he hates to make me happy.

Ladies (and gentlemen for that matter), if you find one like this (skeptical since I think I got the only one) keep him! There isn't anything better out there. The grass is not greener and there aren't more fish in the sea who will buy a giant bejewled ram's head because it will make you happy. Really.

Thank you sweetie, I love it and you.

P.S. My daughter is going to love going through Mommy's jewelry cabinet one day.

P.S.S. The necklace is from Bauble Bar

Thursday, August 09, 2012

Measuring Up

I love, love, love the internet. It's how I find out about all the super cool happenings between celebrity couples (must have latest on Stewart/Pattinson, TomKat, Brangelina, etc), hottest trends in home goods, do a quick check in on my peeps and frankly, how I make a living. It's also where I fall into the bog of eternal self-loathing.

My favorite intranets make it super easy to discover how I'm not measuring up as a mother, wife or human being. I haven't started sleep training Sophy, I haven't volunteered at a yoga retreat for the blind, I don't hand knit her clothes out of virgin wool from sheep that graze on our manicured 10 acre farm in the perfect location "upstate" that are then humanely turned into lamb shanks that I serve at a pop up dinner for 100 of my closest and most beautiful friends in our barn which has been recently renovated based on a Dutch design with all white slip covered furniture... I think you see what I'm getting at.

The internet tends to be a place where we can selectively choose what to share and why wouldn't you share the most idyllic and best version of yourself. The self you want everyone to believe you are. Who wants to read about skipping bath night because you want to go to bed and watch the Real Housewives of New York (not a real life example since it's on tonight and I definitely have to give her a bath since I didn't last night just 'cause). I find myself comparing my life with those living in the fantastical (and mythical) land of no problems, perfect lives and pretty, pretty people but even they have have bad days with baby spit, cat puke, broccoli gone bad in the fridge and general shit that goes along with living life. They just have the good sense not to put that on Facebook. Who the hell wants to hear about that?

... uhm, so maybe ignore this post and check out cute baby animals on Pinterest.

Monday, August 06, 2012


I kept saying I wanted the summer to be packed with family, fun and lots of progress on this year's goals and I guess it's true to be careful what you wish for. We've had some fantastic fun with family and everyone enjoying our first summer with Sophy and I got in a surprise trip to DC with the fantastic upside of being able to visit my friend Elisa and meet her super cool family. But, it's also been rough losing Abby and Maya within a month of each other. They were our first babies and will always be loved.

I also started a new job that's challenging. For a lot of reasons, but they have a pretty stringent 8-5 policy. Normally that would be more than reasonable but it's tough as we try to juggle schedules with Sophy and I really really miss our lazy mornings together. I used to have lots of flexibility and a 3 mile commute. It's incredibly hard to try and get in all the time I'd like to with her and worry we're not doing a good job leaving her with the folks at baby school 9-10 hours a day. It's heart breaking for a new Mama but I think good for her. She likes people, she's got great motor skills and seems to be a totally happy and healthy baby. I just miss her.

I also miss a lot of my old work crew. We had gotten to be a pretty tight group that really enjoyed working together. This is my first job in 13 years where I went in without knowing anyone and it's a completely different culture from where I've been in the past and it's been a struggle. Almost all of which has been on my side as I try to move on from losing my team and some seriously awesome co-workers. I left voluntarily rather than move, and candidly it just wasn't the gig I signed up for anymore, so while it's fantastic to be employed and I'm truly grateful Rolland and I are both very lucky to have our jobs, I still miss the motley crew of folks from Blockbuster. Rare is the position that requires you to have meetings on the ruling of who is, and isn't, a zombie. Sneaking in Nathan Fillion and Firefly references in most of our content was also a tremendous perk.

We've struggled a little with illness off and on as well. We can't seem to get everyone on the mend at the same time and when any of the schedule goes haywire so does the meal planning and healthy strategies but we're still slogging forward to keep it on track and it's fun that we can now start Sophy on solids. She's completely confused by the concept of food outside of a bottle but willing to give it a go. Rolland got her high chair put together and ready to add it as a new fixture to the dining room. Pictures will be provided.

Ok, enough of my venting post and I'm working on some new arty goodness along with a bunch of cute baby on vacation pics for next time. Slowly but surely getting back in the blogging saddle.

Happy Tuesday and I'm off for a little Olympic looky looing.